


18th

by Rin_SchwarzFeuer



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Borussia Dortmund, Bundesliga, I Don't Even Know, M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2722724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rin_SchwarzFeuer/pseuds/Rin_SchwarzFeuer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neven doesn’t know what wakes him.</p>
<p>Probably something simple, a slight noise or most likely his own goddamn head. Either way he just wishes he could go back to sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	18th

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this is.  
> Written in the middle of the night, no beta, no edits.  
> Not even a Dortmund fan but I feel for these poor guys :(

Neven doesn’t know what wakes him.

Probably something simple, a slight noise or most likely his own goddamn head. Either way he just wishes he could go back to sleep.

Recently its the only thing that helps. Its not like he can go and drown himself in alcohol. Its not like that’s going to help where Dortmund is on the table.  
Fuck he really just wants to pass out. Just wants to hide from everything, especially football, if just for a few hours. Just to be blissfully unaware even if its temporary.

He rolls on his back, huffing out a little noise as he burrows back under the covers and resettles in the warmth his body left. He closes his eyes and he knows he’ll fall right back asleep because he’s warm and sleepy and comfortable.

Except of course that would be easy, and since when is anything easy lately?

Its like his brain can’t switch off no matter how hard he tries. All he can think of is that his team, his club, Borussia Dortmund, they’re last on the table. At the bottom. 18th.

At the back on his eyelids all he could see is the disappointment and sorrow on his teammates’ faces, in their body language. 

He can see Matze’s expression after the match against Frankfurt. And that hurts probably more than anything else. Matthias has been having the worst time ever. And its not fair to him that the fans, not all but some, have decided that sweet, new, little Matze is going to be their punching bag. And its terrible because Neven sees how it affects him, sees the now permanent slump in his shoulders, sees the worried looks Erik constantly shoots the younger boy.  
What’s probably the worst is that Neven knows that there’s only so far comforting can go. He knows, from personal experience, that its just something that he’ll get used to. He’ll toughen up eventually and that thought aches him. It isn’t fair.

If they should be blaming anyone its him. Neven knows he hasn’t been performing his best and he’ll own up to it. They would’ve won that match against Bayern if not for him and Neven doesn’t forget that.  
As the more experienced one it should be him who the blame falls on, not some 20 year old who’s in his first season at the club.

Neven lifts his hands to his face and presses down on eyelids. Dortmund has always been his safe haven, especially during all the shit that’s been going on with his NT, playing for Dortmund was one of the few things that Neven cherished with his entire being.  
Playing and making a difference for Dortmund was basically all he wanted to do. And now its like a slap to the face to see them now. And its because of him.

Sure he knows he’s not the only player, but does it matter? Every ball that went in the back of their net was his fault because its his job to keep it away from his keeper. 

Biting his lip, he entertains the thought of the sleeping pills he knows he has somewhere about before quickly dismissing it.   
They have a match against Hoffenheim later today and the last thing they need is this.   
They have a match today that they need to win. 

Two warm hands take his and gently removes them from Neven’s face, effectively cutting off his train of thought. Neven’s not sure if he’s grateful or not.

“Hey,” a soft voice calls out and Neven obligingly open his eyes to stare into the pair of brown eyes directly above his own.

“Stop guilting yourself and get some sleep.” Mats says, using his no-nonsense tone which Neven has to bite back a smile at.  
“I mean it Nev.” he finishes quietly and Neven can feel the tension in his body slowly ebbing away as he sees the concerned look Mats flashes him.  
Its funny how Neven still gets surprised at how easily Mats reads him even though they’ve been together for years.

Mats reads the quiet affirmation in Neven and lowers himself back down on the bed, except now he’s snuggled into Neven and Neven feels a smile tugging the corners of his mouth.

It hasn’t been easier on Mats either. This is probably ever player’s worst nightmare, much less a new captain.  
But Mats is strong and he isn’t just going to run away. He’s going to stay and play his heart out and hold his head high through it all because that’s who he is.

So Neven shuts his eyes and hold on to Mats tightly, a spark of hope in him because they are going to do this, they’re going to make it out of relegation.

And that starts today.


End file.
